Copdock & Old Ipswichian Cricket Club

Copdock & Old Ipswichian Cricket Club 2nd XI squad

2nd XI

Captain : John East

Fatting out ex first team Championship winning captain. Led the club through the dark days and into the promised land of championship glory. Was there at the start, through the Hand shaking out of the window at Colchester and the car park IES chase.

In hindsight, probably the cause of most trouble - beautifully palmed this off on Nose. Clever and devious.

Slowest bowler to ply his trade post Crimean war. Tactically brilliant, poor speed, safe hands at slip.

Vice Captain : Hugh Thomas

Former lower order thrasher, now dour and dull opening batsmen with limited ability. Suspect against good bowling.

Up and coming new ball bowler, though needs to shift a stone and discover a group of muscles also known as a core.
Players
James East
Right Arm Very Slow Bowler,
Right Hand Bat ( Leading Run Scorer )
Chief Sledger,
Most Disliked Player at the Club,
Senior Pro, 
Most likely to upset somebody for no reason.
Nicknames:- Nose, Rash, Dobbie, Smeegle, The Model, Copdock's Harris.

Apart from the above, Nose has excelled over the past two years, he's given up coca cola, lost weight, found Adele and scored some key runs.

Following the trauma of two lung collapses, James' first wicket back was a fine leg side stumping from Andy Burch. He hasn't been able to play the par 3 10th at Purdis properly since. 

James' acting career has progressed after starring as an extra in band of brothers, he played Gollum in the Twin Towers but wasn't asked back for upsetting too many people. Never recovered from a rejection for Schindlers List.

A regular cheater, will try and get one up in any scenario. Picks his nose and eats it sometimes. Always in trouble at school. Inferior sibling. Failed batmaker.
Steve Gauke
Ex -Club Chairman and all round good onion. Loves a tough pre match warm up.
Archie Gravell
Most talented player at the club. Voted man with worst hair in last decade. 

Poor hair, but minor counties appearances. A true oddball, big season beckons with a chance to put pressure on the Suffolk selector(s?).

Sponsored by Birketts LLP.
Tom Jenkin
house wives favourite. Club Graphic designer. An interesting story about banana's floating around from his youth. Was a spinner, now an opening batsman, servere on anything short. Another very nice man!
Jack Mexome
Extremely talented player, hits mega bombs, will play 1's at some point. Stay clear when he's out, he's a bat, helmet and glove thrower! 
Donald Mlambo

Batting All-Rounder 

    

Jason Pembroke

Joined from Mistley for the 2017 Season

Claims to have once bowled 'gas' in the nets at the WACA and had Alex Hales snicked off. Also claims to be able to 'nibble it' on glass. 

Favourite Shot: 'Guide' through 1st slip

Best Attribute: One liners

Biggest Weakness: Honeycomb Cheesecake for lunch when having to bowl in the afternoon session.

 

Nathan Scarff
Joined in 2016, and immediately is in the running for the duck bat. Kit is most likely to be found hidden around the club. Supplier of 20 Chicken Nuggs for members who played a dodgy raincard. Certainly can't handle a beer!
Reuben Sharpe
Opening bat, great net bowler now and again... Mostly scores daddy teens... Electric in the field. 
Graham Underwood
Left arm bowler, lower order bat.


Felix Ward
This little whippersnapper whilst not appearing in reality TV, has talent to burn. Tremendous timer of a cricket ball and former fielding liability has grown to a serious fielder. Wants to work in London and earn lots of money (who doesn't?).

Poor choice in clothing, ought to look for corderoys and sensible shirts in future.
Performance history
SeasonMatchesWonDrawnTiedLostCancelledAbandoned
All23812202752415
2018225001331
2017221300603
2016221400323
2015221300810
2014221301530
2013221201522
201222600970
2011221000903
2010221000732
2009221500610
2008181100421